Mom of my Dreams

Getting the hell outta Dodge

2012-01-06T20:55:00.001-08:00

Things I will certainly not miss when we move out of this house:
1. Constant sirens (close proximity to the hospital as well as various crime scenes)
2. Horrendous "music" in the form of late-night bass-y Mexican Polka from almost nightly weekend parties in the neighborhood, our next door neighbor's crappy garage band, and finally, the drunken Asian karaoke.
3. The creepers who park directly across the street from my house day and night and walk down into the creek-bed to do whatever creeper crap it is that they do.
4. The endlessly barking dogs. Seriously. Let them in at night.
5. The near daily graffiti "decorating" public and private property. It's a never-ending battle... Why yes, I do have graffiti abatement on my speed dial. Don't you?

One little word

2011-12-28T19:38:00.001-08:00

This year has had its ups and downs...And "open" - my one little word for 2011 has served me well. I succeeded in my goal of running a half marathon in July. I stress fractured my big toe in the process. I found some awesome supplements to help me reign in the anxiety and negative thoughts that always manage to creep into my head. We made the decision to move forward with walking away from this house.

Even though our credit score will most likely be eviscerated in the process... It's the right decision at this time. Just like purchasing the house was the right decision at that time.

The realization that happiness is once and for all realizable and tangible, and doesn't come from anything bought in a store. Square footage is as much a blight as a blessing. The next order of business is finding a place, and starting over. And we are not looking back.

The next place will be about family photos framed on the wall, and attempting to make a home from a rented house. (thank you Feist!)

Slowing down. Continuing my journey to get fitter and healthier... Physically and mentally. We all deserve as much. I mean a weight that begins with a "1" isn't a bad place to start. I was there for a short while... And now I find myself about 8 pounds away. I realize this place (geographically and more) is a huge barrier to my happiness. I NEED to be within a few miles of the ocean. Early morning or evening runs along the shore without having to be hyper-aware of my surroundings. I want to have lunch with my husband several days a week. To go to the Farmers Market weekly again... To pop into Trader Joe's and not be concerned about my frozen things thawing on the drive home.

These simple things... Like spending more time creating and less spent driving. More photographs taken and less worry lines created.

Simplifying, decluttering - starting fresh and clean. I am SO looking forward to it all. New routines, not taking my surroundings for granted. All of it. Future Plans. Like running the 2nd half of the SF Marathon this summer in the time allotted, and fracture-free. But that's just icing, right? :)

My one little word for 2012 is "transform." And I already like the direction things are headed.

Oh, hey there...

2011-12-27T19:24:00.001-08:00

So I've been considering trying to you know... Actually start blogging again. And maybe even stay with it? Ha! Guess we will see. ;)

13.1 Baby!

2011-08-04T16:19:00.000-07:00

So, I'm alive... and it's August. So, that means the half-marathon didn't kill me. I wish I could say I did fantastically. But, that would be a lie. I didn't do fantastically. My time was 3:21:08. So, yeah, 21:08 over the 3 hour course limit... but I finished. And I'm pretty damned proud of that fact. And the hills. Oh, dear Lord... the hills. They Kicked. My. Ass. Especially the one going up to the GG Bridge. The bridge was amazing, of course... I knew it would be. That's why I picked the 1st Half (The harder half, with 30 minutes less time to finish than the 2nd half.)

The start time was brutal, considering we had to drive across from the East Bay. We left my in-laws at 3:45. Holy early ass, Batman.

I did walk in parts, especially when the hills were OMG ouch, and the last 3 miles seemed to go on, and on, and ON!! So, yeah, most likely, if I'd taken fewer bathroom breaks, and less pictures, I could have finished within the limit. But you know what? I'm glad I did take pictures. And, having to pee sucks. So, I honestly don't think I would change anything if I had it to do over again.

And I WILL do it over again. Next year. :)

Keep on running....

2011-06-24T19:57:00.000-07:00

I assure you... all two of you who actually read this irregular-disaster of a "blog"... I am still very much alive and well...

I have thrown myself in the 1/2 Training - well, the short version here (and not so faithfully cross-training BAD ME!)I got up at the ass crack of dark o'clock (4:45am) to run my 3 miles today. I was up at 6:00am to run 5 miles last Saturday before heading up to my in-laws. I am doing 6 miles this Sunday (rounding it to an even 10k) Speaking of... I am thinking of running the Spreckles 10k on the 4th of July. The only thing keeping me from registering is that I'm not sure if Jeff's off that day yet. I bought a pair of Vibram Bikilas but I have still yet to wear them for more than a mile.

I am absolutely terrified of the hills. I need to go run up AND down some very soon. I am under no illusions that training on the 'mill is far from optimal when you're looking at a course fraught with hills. Way to pick the HARDEST 1/2 for your first one, Christine. Overachiever. :P

Also, have been faithfully doing the "Green monster" smoothies for the last week. I really think they are helping a lot along with the exercise... my mood is stabilizing once again. I'm also spending a lot more time outside with Ashley during the week out and about. Travis has been going to day camp every weekday but Tuesdays. Next week it's 5 days. It's pleasant - except for all the driving - but I am pretty much used to it by now. Being out all the time, I'm largely neglecting my house, and all that entails but that's kind of how it has to be for now.

I wonder when(?) if(?) I will ever consider myself a true "runner" rather than someone who is just running. Is there a magic moment where the drudgery just falls completely away? I am feeling it bit by bit. I put my headphones in, and crank up my playlist, and I know that no one is going to bug me for the next however many miles. I enjoy that part, immensely.

My timing is amazing, as always.

2011-05-11T16:57:00.000-07:00

So, I ran 6 miles last Sunday with only a couple of blisters, walked away from a fender bender last Monday unscathed... and then.... Tuesday I twisted my stupid ankle/hurt my foot. I was coming into the house after the sprinklers had watered outside... and slid on our tile entry. With bags of groceries in my hands... Ugh. No gym last week, and it still is a bit tender right at the top of my foot near my outer ankle bone (right foot)so GREAT!! Next weekend we are off to Disney and WALKING A LOT... and when we get back I will embark on the HOLY CRAP 1/2 MARATHON on JULY 31st freakout Training Plan. (patent pending)

Pray for my soul... if you're into that type of thing.

Certifiably insane

2011-05-03T08:12:00.000-07:00

Ok... I really suck at blogging...

Sunday I ran (ok... ran and walked) my first 10K with my sister-in-law. I had a bunch of issues... pants falling down, side cramp, bunching socks, toe locked up, toe cramped, had to pee at mile 4 with no bathroom in sight. iPhone died with 1.4 mile left. But despite it all, we prevailed. I wasn't as fast as I wanted to be, and I walked more than I would have liked... but I finished, and I wasn't last. So that counts for something, right?

Chip Time: 1:25:14
Clock Time: 1:25:59
Total Pace: 13:44/Mile

So my goals between now and the 1/2 marathon in July... improve my stamina, find socks, lose 10 pounds (AT LEAST!!) Weight is slowly creeping back on me... around 10 pounds worth in the last few months... a combination of slacking off with the tracking food, and the Pill, and I want to get rid of it. So, I need to buckle down and Just Do It. ;)

Which leads me too.... I applied for the Nike Women's Marathon lottery... and my name got picked. Yes, I am taking on 26.2 in October. I think I am certifiably insane at this point. I also still need to register for the Big Sur 1/2 Marathon in November(which I will be doing with non-runners - so much walking will happen!)

A year ago I was a non-runner... and also 30 pounds heavier. In 2011 I have run a 5K, a 3K with Travis, a 10K, and have two 1/2 marathons and a full marathon to go in the next 6 months. I honestly don't even enjoy running that much (YET!) .... meaning I'm not to the point of considering myself a "runner" - rather simply someone who "runs". I wonder when of if that will change?

Obviously different from her brother.

2011-02-25T16:35:00.000-08:00

I just heard the sound of water running in the bathroom.

Me: "Ashley, what are you doing, honey? Come out of the bathroom."

Ashley: "I'm just washing my hands because I touched my 'bagina.'"

Awesome.

Tick-tock

2011-02-12T10:23:00.000-08:00

Well, I missed a certified letter the other day... so we're going to have to go to our ghetto-ass Post Office to get it. I'm certain it's the formal letter from our lender demanding payment. So, we're looking at moving (probably) in the next 3 months. I suppose, it could be longer... but assuming shorter is probably a good thing.

I'm relieved, anxious, and excited. "There's no place like home." Can't wait to be back.

In other news, I started a diuretic last week... and besides peeing 11,000 times a day, no ill-effects. This is good for a couple of reasons

1. I have lost a couple of pounds just from the water weight.

2. It's a sulfa-based drug, and we were trying it out - I have had a previous reaction to sulpha in the past. So, this opens the door to try the other medications my doctor wanted me to take, but couldn't due to the sulpha-allergy concerns.

In other news, I'm running a 5K tomorrow morning... I did it on the treadmill the other day, and am feeling good, so, yay.

Ready to go out with the family and enjoy the sunshine.

Well that sucked.

2011-02-06T16:02:00.000-08:00

The new medication caused a list of side effects within a very short time. Stomach cramps, joint pain, numbness in my hands and feet, itching like crazy. So, nope. Tomorrow I go in for another appointment and hopefully start something else that won't make me feel like utter crap.

A healthy mama is a happy mama

2011-02-03T09:28:00.000-08:00

I broke down and joined a gym. I figure... I am NOT going to be able to train for a half-marathon if I can't even get 1/2 mile in before Ashley freaks out in the jogger. So, I got on a month-to-month agreement with a gym 3 minutes from home... and went Tuesday night. I was planning on going yesterday, but I had to fast for some bloodwork until 11:30am... meaning no caffeine either. Oh, the day-long headache that ensued. :( On that note, I am going to cut down on caffeine as well.

My triglycerides are "BEAUTIFUL!" (52) according to my doctor. YAY olive oil! And my HDL (59) and LDL (76) are ok, a little tiny bit higher than optimal... so he wants me to eat more fish/take fish oils (I was taking fish oils for a long time, and then they started to make me feel icky)

I am starting a new medication for BP (a calcium-channel blocker) and gradually getting off of the Labetalol I have been on since I was only 6 weeks pregnant with Ashley. My cardiologist thinks once I start exercising regularly again, I will drop more weight, and my BP will stay down longer, and hopefully I can get off of meds completely.

Reality

2011-01-30T17:00:00.001-08:00

We have been doing well with the weaning.... Ashley has asked (especially in the middle of the night/early morning) to nurse. I have gently reminded her that there's no more nursing. I was lucky, too... we went up to my in-laws' last night. Also, my mother-in-law (who is awesome!) watched the kids so we could actually go out. The bedtime routine sans-nursing was something I was dreading. She went right to sleep for her. :)

We had a great evening. We went out for drinks, dinner, and a movie... and we really needed the break together.

But today has been really, really rough. Tantrums, meltdowns, freak-outs. And I'm sad for her, for us, for the end of this nursing relationship. Even though I know it's time, and with her there is NO other way than this....also, I have recently started new medication (Nuvaring) and will be starting another for my blood pressure, and it just needs to happen now. Nursing is something my body has been doing for 6 years. There were only a few months between when Travis weaned and when Ashley was born. My body never stopped making milk... it just changed back to colostrum.

So, the between the guilt for the abruptness/breastfeeding hormones/Nuvaring already messing with my hormones.... it's hitting me hard too, and I have been sensitive and tearful all afternoon.

I'm sure it gets easier, and better... and the next couple of weeks are going to be challenging as we both adjust. I just honestly had no idea I'd feel this fragile. I can only imagine how she feels. :(

End of an Era

2011-01-29T01:05:00.001-08:00

Tonight I made a decision. I read the kids their story, and tucked them into bed. Ashley was fidgety, and not wanting to go to sleep. We played musical beds for a bit, and she popped up and wanted back next to me.

I took her in my arms and rubbed her sweet face and ruffled her curly hair. "Ashley lovey, this is the last time we're going to nurse."

She looked at me, puzzled. "the milkies are all gone?"

"Yes, sweetie. You're a big girl now, and almost 3. Mommy will always snuggle with you, though. I love you."

She nodded, understanding. "I want to nurse one more time."

So, she did. She curled up in my arms. She patted my breast, and absently pulled at my tanktop. She snuggled into me for the odd-thousandth time, perhaps.

She nursed, and I felt her breathing regulate. She started to drop off to sleep and unlatch. Then she re-positioned herself in her sleep and nursed some more.

I kissed her hair, my arm encircling her head. I inhaled the sweet smell of my pre-schooler, committing this moment to memory.

I listened to the music on in the background and relished the calm and quiet. Then I fell asleep next to my sweet little girl.

~ Christine

Potty Talk

2011-01-25T13:28:00.000-08:00

I have been trying to get Ashley to agree to use the potty. She is sooo damned smart... yet so damned stubborn. We have the potties, the panties, the pull-ups, the books, the videos. We talk about it ALL THE TIME. She sits, and sits, and sits. And, nothing. Then, as soon as I put underwear or a Pull-up on her - without fail, she goes. It's so frustrating... but then again what isn't about this child? :)

Slow going...

2011-01-18T09:03:00.000-08:00

We starting sorting through the chaos that is our garage this weekend... wow. Just wow. We have accumulated so much STUFF!! Honestly, some of it isn't even ours... we're storing a bunch of stuff for my mom and Jeff's sister. Also, a ton of baby equipment that will be re-homed between Jeff's cousin due in March with a baby boy, as well as our good friends finding out they are newly expecting.

Even cardboard boxes from both TVs, and such we've saved in case they need to be returned... all broken down and will be taken to the dump. This move is going to suck and be amazing at the same time...

I checked out a friend of a friend's house for rent a couple of weeks ago. It was very cute, and cozy... but had some flaws. The most obvious isn't a flaw, really. It is available NOW. We are... well...not.

Also, the kitchen storage and counters (or lack thereof) - yeah. I think the kitchen for me is the #1 place I spend time. So, it's really important that that room be substantial. I know I am not going to find anywhere with as many drawers and cabinets as I have now...not to mention the island with the power plug. Sigh.

But honestly... it's all secondary to THIS! (drop down to "show 100")

Near daily homicides, attempted homicides, robberies... it's just insane.

I don't feel safe running in my own immediate neighborhood. New graffiti surrounding our neighborhoods is a daily sight. I have the graffiti-abatement on speed-dial. It just sucks.

So, it's going to take a lot of effort and time, but know it will be more than worth it. Feeling safe just can't be undervalued.

Out-of-synch

2011-01-04T09:40:00.001-08:00

Travis has always been kind of... different.

He's always been mellow, yet high-strung.

Confident, yet freaked out.

Slow to meet milestones.

He's had challenges - and didn't potty train until after he turned 4.

He's had always had motor skills issues. Routines, compulsions (light switches, pressing buttons, locking doors)

Repetitive tendencies. He repeats certain words, phrases, sounds. Things he hears on TV.. It has always driven me nuts.

Zippers and snaps confound him.

Buttons? Not a chance.

Shoe laces. Are you kidding me?

Food textures. Smells, He has a low gag-reflex.

He has always hated haircuts, getting his nails cut, showers, going to the dentist, brushing his teeth. Loud noises.

Sticky, muddy things. Finger paint. Sand. Clothing tags are always cut off. Socks with seams do not live in his sock drawer.

Yeah... all these seemingly "small" things are big things to him. I wrote most of them off as him just being particular... but I always wondered if there was something more.

I got him evaluated by an Occupational Therapist. She is certain he has Sensory Processing Disorder.

All these things together... combined with his inability to sit still, write legibly, hold a pencil correctly, cut food with the side of his fork... things we've been over and over again... frustrating things... there is a reason besides being stubborn, or lazy, or just defiant.

I ordered "The Out-of-Synch Child" as well as "The Out-of-Synch-Child Has Fun" from Amazon last night. I guess I have some reading to do.

Vacation, ha!

2011-01-02T19:10:00.001-08:00

The last 16 days of no school have been really rough... Also, it's rained nearly every single day. Oh my gawd!!! I am losing my marbles! The kids bicker and smack each other around. They haven't slept in once!!

I am usually happy to get up before them and enjoy my coffee in a still-quiet house. Nope. They have been up before the sun... demanding things... Arguing...

I cannot wait until Tuesday morning! :)

~ Christine

Stuff for the New Year

2010-12-30T07:25:00.000-08:00

There are some goals I have for the New Year... I won't use the "R" word... those always seem to fade into the ether by March.

No, these are just things I want to do or work on... for myself and others.

~ Actually follow through with Project 365

~ Become a better photographer... and actually be able to take my camera off of auto with consistent results this year

~ Take MORE pictures
~ Scrap MORE

~ Try to incorporate more fun, whimsy, and joy in my life daily

~ Move more

~ Spend less

~ Stress less

~ Enjoy the little moments

~ Say "yes" to more often to my kids

~ Say "no" more often to non-family and friends wanting my time and energy

~ Look into IUD or other method of BC - DONE started the Nuvaring 12/30/10

~ Spend more ALONE time with hubby ;)

~ Date night with hubby once a month... even if it's just ordering takeout and watching a movie after the kids are in bed.

~ Spend quality 1-on-one time with each child daily. (even if it's only 10 minutes!)

~ Spend time with each child separately weekly if possible (and errands don't count)

~ More consistent bedtime routines for the kids.

~ Continue to purge "stuff" from our lives - especially as we are preparing for a move.

...

Less really is more....

2010-12-28T09:52:00.000-08:00

We survived Christmas...

I (greatly) scaled back my baking, and no one seemed to be any less appreciative of the homemade goodies that I delivered to them.

I also reduced stress and cost by forgoing Christmas cards this year. I sent over 100 awesome photocards last year... and I got maybe 10?! in return. This year? 4. So, I guess I am not the only one cutting things out.

We didn't do the huge, messy gingerbread house, and instead invited a couple of friends over and had the kids decorate cut-out chocolate cookies instead with M&Ms, red hots, spice drops, and icing. Sent them home bagged up and that was that.

I didn't embark on any drawn-out knitting projects, for people who wouldn't even appreciate it.

I shopped smartly,and over time. Purged existing toys from the house over weeks and months... Took advantage of Amazon Prime, YAY! Avoided the malls and crowds as much as possible... wrapped over several nights instead of cramming it all into one. The calendars were at the printers DAYS earlier than previous years. We did the Christmas Light drive several times... enjoyed too many Salted Caramel Hot Chocolates... Bailey's and Cream, and spiked Eggnog.

We gave less to each other and more to those who have less than ourselves.

And you know what? It was great. Better than great. And most importantly... the Earth didn't spin off its axis, and cease to be. I really know I need to chill out and relax more. Enjoy more, stress less, relax standards, and just BE in the moment.

Wrapping up the year

2010-12-22T08:11:00.000-08:00

So, as much as I'm a blogfail this year... I believe overall my One Little Word choice for this year (follow-through) was successful.

In 2010 I followed through with:

~ I joined Weight Watchers and lost the equivalent of my 2 year old in weight. A few pounds +/-5 have crept back... but I am armed with the new Points Plus Plan... and am re-committing. RIGHT after Christmas.

~ I started a running plan. ME! A self-proclaimed exercise-hater.

~ I ran a 5K in June 2010. Ran. The whole thing. Stopping only twice to drink a sip of water.

~ I registered for the San Francisco Half Marathon for July 2011.

~ I built a Square Foot Garden and enjoyed lots of garden-fresh produce over the summer. Peas, radishes, summer squash, arugula, lettuce, tomatoes, peppers, basil, cilantro, thyme, parsley. I have never been able to grow anything... so this was a huge accomplishment for me.

~ I started making time for myself... baby steps.

~ I started relaxing my standards for myself and others. This is huge, and difficult for me to do... I am my own worst critic... and sometimes I just need to tell her to STFU.

And, this final thing may not feel like "follow-through"... (in fact to most it probably seems like quite the opposite... it is)

After much deliberation, we have decided we are not as happy as we were trying to make ourselves believe we were with our house decision. At the time it was the "smart thing" to do... the rents in Monterey for a 3 bedroom were comparable to our mortgage in our 4 bedroom, 2.5 bath 2,200+ square foot house with walk in closets and a huge master bedroom.

Fast forward two years... The rapidly declining property value, and sharply increasing crime rate... the expense of the mortgage, PLUS the extra $600-700 a month in gas...the maxed-out credit card, and depleted savings accounts. There were a lot of things considered. Yes, the house is nice, and big and modern. But it also has things about it that bug us a lot. It's BIG. It's COLD. And it's got 15 foot tall ceilings in the living room... meaning every sound is magnified and echoes. To the point where I physically can't handle the sound. Like the yelling, screaming kids EVERY SINGLE DAY!

The spiral staircase, as dramatic and nice as it was when we moved in here with a non-walking 6-month-old is a now a daily nightmare with a dare-devil 2.5 year old. Ashley routinely scales the outer spindles, and leaps to the bottom from 4 stairs up. Also, today, she dropped a large toy from the top landing downstairs onto her brother's foot below. The 3 bathrooms take me forever to clean. There is wall-to-wall WHITE carpet upstairs... in the BATHROOM - you get the point here?

Also, there's the leaking roof from last spring we haven't been able to afford afford to fix, the backyard that needs complete landscaping, the back gate that's holding on by a thread and needs replacing. The silverfish and spiders, and wasps, that manage to encroach on us in no matter what we do...

Travis is afraid to go upstairs (even in the daytime) by himself, and hasn't been able to sleep in his own room since we moved in. Our neighbors (on both sides) have teenagers that play in garage bands. EVERY DAY in the summer, and most of the days during school breaks and every weekend. For HOURS. It sucks.

Ashley spends a HUGE amount of time in her carseat. Every school day we take Travis to school and then pick him up - out of our district (because as nice as the house is... the school district is abysmal)

It's 25-30 minutes each way. So, Ashley (and I) spend 2 hours a day MINIMUM in the car. Then there is the constant worry about leaving the house on time which turns me into a crabby, yelling maniac. That does not count the time we spend when she has gymnastics (in Monterey) or on the weekends when we just want to go to a NICE park, and Trader Joes.

So, soon, our home will once again be yet another red icon on Zillow... and we will take the hit to our credit, and try to move on. We are moving back to Monterey. Not with our tails between our legs in defeat... but with our heads held high with a sigh of relief. We are not sure exactly when or how, but we have set things in motion. The phone calls are already starting... Ironically enough, it doesn't take much, apparently, you just stop paying (which we did this month) and it kinda automatically proceeds from there.

I will say it feels very "wrong" to make this decision... when technically we "can afford it" but really, we know we can't - at least not at the expense of our happiness and mental well-being... and also scrutinizing every dollar we spend is just not how we want to live. If that makes me a "bad person" or "selfish" then so be it.

But I plan on making 2011 the best year yet. New beginnings, new adventures. Where one door closes, another opens, and it will be amazing to see where the journey takes us.

Also, this brings me to my new word.

My word for 2011 is OPEN.

Here's to:
Finding OPEN doors
Having an OPEN Heart
Keeping an OPEN mind
Embracing life and love with OPEN arms
Running on the OPEN Road (especially as I train for my first Half-marathon)
Being OPEN to the possibilities
Remaining OPEN to change
Staying OPEN to improvement

Hey there...

2010-12-14T21:33:00.000-08:00

So.. this whole neglect thing where it comes to my blogging?

I'm working on it... things are going on, changes are coming soon... and I will be back. I miss my outlet and ability to hash out what's going on in my day-to-day...

A new design, a new direction... coming soon.
:)

Plotting...

2010-09-09T12:04:00.000-07:00

One of Ashley's favorite new things to do is to open the gate at the bottom of the stairs and sneak into Travis' room. She goes in there and messes with his Lego table... and every time I catch her she is always startled. Then she smiles, turns on the charm, and offers up an excuse "I came to get this!" "I want this toy!" and brings the toy downstairs. Such a crazy little girl!

Wiped.

2010-09-03T08:32:00.001-07:00

Ashley has had a cold... and man it sucks. She's whinier, clingier, tantrum-ier than our "normal days" and I am just wiped out.

Is it bad to want a child to hurry up and grow up... okay... just a wee little bit? ;)

Yeah, I thought not!

Meh.

2010-07-14T16:51:00.000-07:00

Hanging in here... just barely on some days. The 5k is on the 25th, and I seriously am not ready. I have barely been able to run since T has been out of school. Between busy days, 4 days per week driving 35+ minutes to camp, and the same drive back home. And also the whole feeling like I have a weird painful callous on the ball of my foot whenever I DO run. Ouch. And sigh. Add gymnastics for Ashley 2 of those days which start 15 minutes after Travis is dropped off at camp... across town. So, we walk in 5 minutes late on good days. Also, Jeff has such a non-traditional schedule... it's all I can do to make sure he's home on time for me to go knit on Mondays. After, oh, a year?! :P

The dieting is bleh. The same 5 pounds come and go, and come again. For the last 6 weeks??! After the race we have a Tahoe Trip the following week. When we get back, I am going to buckle down and only eat "filling foods" and try to get back on the exercise wagon. Maybe I need a treadmill after all?

I just feel so flat-lined right now. I need a shake-up.

Weekend review...

2010-06-21T08:48:00.000-07:00

We had a fairly great weekend. Some old friends of ours who had a band in the late 90's got back together for a "one last hurrah" reunion show Saturday night at a seedy sports bar up where the in-laws live. So after the kids were tucked into bed at Grandma's house, we slipped out for a few hours of kid-free time for the first time in far too long.

Yesterday we took the kids to the movies. Toy Story 3 was a-mazing. We opted to see it in 2D since we were taking both kids. They were both pretty well-behaved, but then again, we kept a steady, yet very controlled stream of smuggled-in M&Ms and Junior Mints flowing. ;)

Ashley freaked out multiple times yesterday. Like complete screaming meltdown, complete with hysterics. The last/worst one was because she wouldn't go into or stay in the Learning Tower. I draw the line when I am dealing with boiling water. Must stay safe. I ended up putting her in her room (with a baby gate) and just letting her scream for a few minutes while I finished making dinner for the kids.

So, yeah. I am trying to keep from being driven nuts by these kids this summer. It's not working out quite so well so far.

The good news is, I lost another almost 3 pounds in the last week. Down 28.6 since March! :)

Derailed

2010-06-14T15:40:00.000-07:00

I swear, I am the world's Lamest blogger. I have had a blog since like.... 1999... yet this time around... I can't seem to keep an update schedule going.

What I have managed to do is start running/walking regularly... 1-3 miles 2-3 times a week. I signed up for the San Francisco Marathon Progressive Marathon in July. I have lost another 3.4 pounds since this time last month, bringing my total since March 1, 2010 down 25.6 pounds. It was coming off fast at first, and then once I started running, it crept to a crawl.

I'd see .2, .4, .6 pounds of loss a week.

Slowly, slowly... and so, then I gained 4 pounds a couple of weeks ago. Inexplicably so... I have been diligent in my efforts. And even exercising regularly for the first time in years. So, those 4 pounds... they took several weeks to take back off. Over the last week I have lost tiny bit more than 5 pounds. Oh, and this was the week I took OFF of running. Go figure.

The SF Progressive is a little over a month away. The furthest I have run this far at a time is a bit over 2 miles. And now? Travis is out of school. The toddler is enrolled in gymnastics twice a week, and Travis has camp Tues-Friday. Yeah, way to screw up my program, right? ;0)

So, I guess I will need to start setting my alarm for 5:45 like I used to do back in high school when I needed to make up Chem Labs... except I will be sweating instead of thinking. But I will look forward to it with the same level of enthusiasm. HA! :P

Sickies... and a silver lining

2010-04-28T09:14:00.000-07:00

So we ran the 3K Saturday! Yay! Actually it wasn't so bad at all. Of course, we did walk a few times. Travis came down with a fever Friday afternoon, so I doubted we'd even end up going. But, he woke up Saturday ready to go, despite a bit of a cough. I figured we could bow out early if if figured to be too much. But, he was such a trooper! :)

The weekend had a rapidly downward spiral after that... fever came back, there was one instance of hurling (him) and as the day wore on I got a sore throat. Of course I felt like I was hit by a train Sunday morning! Achy, sore throat, the whole deal.

Of course, little Man stayed home Monday.

Monday evening I got a terrible stabbing pain in my ear out of the blue, including vertigo. it was awful! Since Travis was also clearly getting worse, I decided we both needed medical attention. Jeff left work early, and we went to "Doc in the Box" and waited, waited, waited. Almost 2 hours in the waiting room. Thank goodness for T's iPod Touch!! He was great. We waited another 45 minutes for the doctor, and I made it clear to anyone listening that it was unacceptable. Maybe it should be called DOCTOR on Duty not Doctors. :P

We both were diagnosed with matching ear infections, and I also have a sinus infection. Yay. Z-packs all around. :P

Now Ashley is all congested and unhappy too. Poor baby. I hope she makes it out without any added sickness.

The only thing worse than seeing your babies sick and unhappy is being sick and unhappy yourself while trying to care for them.

Hoping this next week is a better one! :)

The Good News is, I am down 5.6 pounds since last week! (Even with my "monthly visitor.")

Crazy, huh? The craziest part?! My total weight loss since March 1st is 22.4 pounds! To put that into perspective, I have lost nearly the equivalent weight of ASHLEY!!! (She's 23 pounds, tiny little thing, huh?) I hit my 10% weight loss goal, and my weight starts with the number "1" for the first time in... forever! :D

Bad blogger

2010-04-21T11:55:00.001-07:00

I seriously suck at this updating thing. Really.

Pretty typical around here lately... Kids are great, driving me nuts daily with their fighting and whining and not listening. Nothing new.

I am behind on things I haven't even started yet. Does that even make sense?

I need to mop the floors today but it is an exercise in futility. Ashley tries yes TRIES to make herself slip and fall anytime the floors are wet. Yes, she is THAT crazy!

Instead I will take the kids shopping and make chicken soup this afternoon. I am seriously contemplating making grilled cheese and ham sammies to go with and calling it dinner.

I would adore an early bedtime (for them) so we can catch up on Lost before I am so wiped out I can't keep my eyes open.

We'll see if that happens though...

~ Christine

Sigh

2010-04-08T10:36:00.001-07:00

Well, Baby Girl's 2nd birthday came and went. We are doing her party this weekend with family. Her play kitchen is on its way. So she got a Melissa & Doug cooking set to hold her over until it arrives. :)

Also, she has a fever and threw up last night. Dealing with crankiness, unwell, icky diapers is no fun. Hope she is back to her old crazy self soon! :)

I am tired, and just kinda bleh today from lack of sleep. I have had a shower and 2 cups of coffee. Need to eat something. Just hoping both that I can keep myself well, and that the rest of the family doesn't get the ick too.

Trying her damndest...

2010-04-05T10:05:00.000-07:00

I swear this little girl is TRYING to land herself in the ER before her 2nd birthday.

Friday night she crashed into the entertainment center and busted open her lip.

Saturday she was running in her socks while we were packing up the car to go to the in-laws. She slipped on the Pergo and fell right on her head.

Sunday she was (again) running inside this time at my in-laws.She fell and scraped a small spot on her cheek (about the size of a pencil eraser diameter - and only the 1st layers of skin but it still looks icky)

Monday (Just now) I just changed a poopy diaper and sat her on the counter like I always do to wash hands. She CRASHED headfirst into the mirror. No rhyme or reason. Just trying to out herself in the hospital, I swear!! Thankfully she "only" has a red raised mark on her forehead from that.

First Thin Mint

2010-03-31T11:53:00.000-07:00

Post-it Note Tuesday

2010-03-30T16:11:00.000-07:00

I'm shrinking! :)

2010-03-27T11:28:00.000-07:00

Today was my "weigh-day" and guess what? I am down another 3.2 pounds this week for a total of 13.6 since March 1!

I really can't believe how fast it has come off so far! I eat a LOT more often. My moods are beginning to stabilize. This is only a positive in my book.

Well, the ONE negative thing is how all my pants are falling off my ass! My super-awesome friend Norah loaned me some jeans and capris in a smaller size so I don't have to buy new pants right now... especially ones that (hopefully) won't fit me next month! ;)

Just starting the arduous task of potty-learning for Ashley.... although I am SURE she will go much faster than Travis did (he was only PL'd completely as of LAST summer!)

Anyway... we got our season passes to Great America and are headed up to ride rides and play in the sun tomorrow! :)

Simple things

2010-03-23T11:10:00.000-07:00

I have started purging the crap from our lives. The plastic-y crap the kids have has multiplied exponentially despite my best intentions. Ahem. Grandparents... I am looking at YOU! Anyway... too much crap, not enough space... overwhelmed with everything. So, out it goes. I really am wanting to pare down. In a big, big way. Then everything will have its place and I will spend less time LOOKING for stuff and more time DOING stuff. Or at least that is my plan...

I flat-out told the Grandparents NOT to buy Ashley anything for her birthday besides a kitchen from here: http://www.willowtoys.com/catalog.php?category=1

Hope they will pool together so it's less $$ for everyone... and then we will not have random plastic battery-driven-noisy crap from 3 sets of Grandparents continuing to clutter up our lives.

I don't care if they are happy with me... none of US are benefiting from the amount of sheer crap the kids own between the two of them. As a matter of fact, 80-90% of the Christmas toys have been broken, tossed, or just plain ignored.

The Easter baskets this year will have some candy (of course), but mostly playsilks, bubbles, books, and art supplies... maybe a knitted outfit for Ashley's newest doll... None of the random dollar-spot crap that breaks into pieces after mere seconds...

I plan on melting down some of the old broken crayons and making new crayons with them.

Simplifying seems to refreshing... or am I just getting old? :)

Because I am made of awesome...

2010-03-16T08:22:00.000-07:00

I dropped Travis off at school today and waited as I always do for him to do his "jobs".

The kids hang up their backpacks, get out their lunchboxes, and put their snacks in their cubbies. Then they sign in by putting their nametag in the basket.

I was chatting with a friend and the teacher while Travis did his jobs. I saw that he went over to the Lego Table before signing in. I gently reminded him, and asked if he got his snack out.

He said "yes mommy, I got my cwementines" I was puzzled. I had not packed clementines. Thinking he was just making up that he got his snack out, I followed him to his cubby.

Sure enough, a whole peeled Clementine sat in a snack sized ziploc. With a star wars sticker on the front. Just like I had packed for him. ON FRIDAY!!

Eew. He had it in the front compartment of his backpack all weekend. But it looked perfectly fine. I am soooo glad he didn't eat it!!! :p

Crazy crazy life

2010-03-05T10:25:00.000-08:00

So, this whole EATING thing?! It is working! I have lost 4.8 pounds since MONDAY! My biggest downfall has always been "forgetting" to eat. It's not hard to do with crazy mornings where coffee starts me off, and then we rush out the door!

Like this morning... oh, I need to back up...

YESTERDAY on the way home from picking up Travis from school, I realized we needed gas. I was planning on stopping at the Safeway near our house (they have a gas station there, with good gas prices, and we get an extra 3 cents off a gallon with our Safeway card.)

Then Travis decided he had to poop like NOW... so we rushed home instead.

Flash to this morning... already leaving a few minutes later than I wanted to. Get the kids into the van... get in, and oh crap. We are on E!!!

So I stopped at the Circle K a few blocks away, and get the gas tank open, put my card in, enter my pin. "Transaction cancelled" flashes on the screen. "WTF?" I think. So I try it as a credit card transaction instead... and enter in the billing zip code. "Please see attendant" flashes on the screen. "You have GOT to be kidding me!!" I say out loud, and close, gas tank, get back in the van and drive over to another pump at the same station. I repeat this exact scenario with exactly the same result.

I was just so damned mad. I KNOW there is nothing wrong with my card or our account... and Jeff just put his paycheck in the bank the other day! I got in the car and drove off. I hoped, and hoped, and HOPED we were able to get to another station before we ran out of gas right smack dab in the center of Gang-central.

I found another station, and thank goodness it worked! I think I need to start carrying $40 in my wallet for just this reason.

Still here...

2010-03-02T13:59:00.000-08:00

How's that "follow-through" working out for you?? Actually... it kind of is. Baby steps. Of course. I joined Weight Watchers yesterday. I did WW before kids, and it did work. It was just fussy and hard to keep track of everything. But, now I have the most awesome phone... and yes, there is an app for that ass.

The Weight Watchers meetings never really appealed to me. I GET why they work for a lot of people. I just never need a bunch of strangers golf-clapping in order to encourage me. Usually, once I set my mind to things, I just DO them. Staying with things... well I am just all kinds of ADD.

So, anyway... I joined their "e-tools" and get to track everything on my iPhone. The site is awesome too, and there are recipes and a message board... also a "recipe builder" where you can input all ingredients and their amounts, and it calculates the Points for it. So, for instance... when I saw Ree posted those awesome Toffee Coffee Bars, the first thing I did was input everything into the recipe builder, and then it told me the Points for each bar is 4! (Just as a comparison, 2 slices of Oroweat 100% Whole Wheat Bread is 3 Points.)

I am committed to being healthier, and losing weight. My foray into Couch to 5K was ruined by our rash of rainy weather... but I will restart again as soon as the weather clears.

Travis and I are doing a 3K fun run at the end of next month together. I think I will bring the jogger and toss Ashley in as well!

http://www.bsim.org/Event_Information/JRJK3K.htm

I love (a list in progress)

2010-02-14T07:46:00.000-08:00

In the spirit of Ree's post on things she loves...

I Love:

My husband.

My kiddos.

The way my hubby makes my coffee.

Travis's mispronunciations.

Ashley's babbles.

Freshly washed sheets.

Really good chocolate.

How Ashley curls her body up completely around me when she nurses and seems so much smaller.

Caramel Macchiatos with extra Caramel.

New makeup.

New socks.

Being barefoot.

Really hot showers.

The way my kiddos smell fresh from the bath.

Honey I Washed the Kids soap from LUSH (used as a shampoo bar for Ashley so I can smell her hair all day)

Kissing my kids while they sleep.

Good coffee.

Good wine.

Bamboo windchimes.

Painting my toenails.

Really great fitting jeans.

Sleep.

Baking with Travis.

Bargain shopping.

Knitting with really yummy yarn and bamboo needles.

Tea with honey.

My iPhone.

The anticipation of walking into a hotel room for the first time.

Road trips.

Cows at pasture.

Good seafood.

Snuggling.

Bacon.

Haircuts.

Bath & Body Works.

Grocery shopping.

Cooking.

Clothes for Travis that look like shrunken versions of Jeff's clothes.

Clean bathrooms. (but not CLEANING them!)

Birds chirping.

Christmas lights.

Christmas cookies.

Bulbs blooming in the spring.

Pick-it-Yourself fruit.

Roadside cherry stands.

Quiet time.

Pasta.

Spot.

2010-02-09T18:36:00.001-08:00

The warning signs didn't phase me... I have had a killer headache all day... I have been extra thirsty, extra agitated... craving chocolate...

Then I went to the bathroom a few minutes ago. Oh, right! I DO have an APP for that! Maybe I just need to actually pay attention to these things. And, in case you're wondering... according to said App...it was actually a day late. But, it might be gone juuust in time for Valentine's day. :)

Checking in

2010-02-04T19:47:00.000-08:00

So rain sucks... and so do colds... and Travis has been home from school for the last 2 days with a cold. Ugh. Seriously. I got 2.5 weeks into Couch to 5k and it decided to rain fr 12 days straight. And another storm is brewing as we speak. Soooo.... obviously starting over next week. Weather permitting.
I have been thinking of starting the Sonoma Diet again. My moods have been really low lately. I know the SAD is a big part of why. I think I also have some nutritive deficiency from 2 pregnancies and nursing for almost 5 straight years. I need to get my thyroid checked. I also need to do a zillion other things. Procrastination is ingrained....

Baby Steps...

2010-01-05T18:33:00.000-08:00

I started the Couch to 5K today! I did the Day 1 workout this morning. I am happy to report that I did not pass out or keel over... but I am sore already. Ashley did pretty well in the BOB Jogger. She had some of her own music "They Might Be Giants" on the iPod Touch tucked into the back of the jogger. I bundled her in her jacket and a hat, and wrapped her up in her pink blankie (it was like 45 degrees!) Popped her "Biolet" (Violet) puppy, and her Boone Snackball full of Multigrain Cheerios, and a sippy full of milk in there with her. We were off!

I used the Crystal Method "Drive" with the Couch to 5K app on my iPhone. I like it a lot. It even posts to Facebook when you do the workout! ;)

My mom took Travis for a couple of hours yesterday. Ashley and I went to the mall.

I went shopping for cute thongs... and stopped by the sale at Bath & Body Works.

The nap Gods shined down... because by the time we were home, both kids had zonked out in the van for naps.

So, I used that time wisely. I embarked on the G-Spot Challenge for the Mominatrix Resolution.

First I gave myself a manicure.... and went searching for some lube. Well, I was thwarted. The KY liquid that was in a packed box from the garage had expired in...wait for it!!! 2006. So... uh, yeah. That went in the trash, obviously.

Even without the aid of the helpful slippery stuff, I was largely successful. It feels kind of strange to get "re-aquainted" with my lady-parts post-kiddos.

Sooo... yeah. At least sex is remotely back on my radar. Even though we haven't "done it" (yet)in 2010... I think it has the possibility of a better outlook in that department than ohh... 2008 & 2009 combined! ;)

Sexual Resolution!!

2010-01-01T12:20:00.001-08:00

Ok... Jumping on this bandwagon! I would be lying if I said that we are having enough sexy fun time. Or, lately... ANY sexy fun time. So, kicking off the New Year with a resolution that will hopefully kickstart the sexy fun!!

Thong dusted off... Planning on totally renovating my panty drawer. Or my drawer drawer. Heh. I am funny. ;) Anyway... Deciding to ditch all things stretched out, too big, too small, to old, or otherwise only befitting a few days of the month. Eh hem. Starting small here! ;)

~ Christine

Follow-through

2009-12-30T11:40:00.001-08:00

I got up early yesterday and did the Wii Fit for 45 minutes. Yoga, mostly. It is deceptively difficult... and really kicked my ass. I am soooo out of shape. It is pathetic, really!

So, taking a break today, I guess. I am going to start the Couch to 5K program next week. I decided I am joining in on the fun with Leslie and the other sessy beeshes. Meaning, that in May, I am going to RUN a 5K! Ok, maybe it will kill me... but it probably won't! :)

Also, I am going to start the 365 Project for pictures. I always wanted to do it - just never motivated myself to actually follow through.

I want 2010 to be the year of follow-through. That is my One Little Word for this next year.

A new beginning...

2009-12-26T17:08:00.001-08:00

Well, Christmas has come and gone. We were all spoiled rotten... And of course the kids were showered by all of their grandparents in addition to Santa and mommy and daddy.

I got a WiiFit Plus AND a Janome sewing machine. I am soooo excited to start working out once again! Also I have always wanted to learn to sew... And I hope to be able to figure out my machine with the help of one of my good friends! :)

I am really wanting to convert my walk-in closet into a crafting/sewing space. Maybe even rip up the carpet and use some of the extra Pergo flooring from the garage instead. I guess we will see what happens in the next year.

I want to re-focus on eating mindfully and healthfully. Exercising regularly, taking care of myself as well as everyone else.

I have this tendency to put myself dead last, so this is going to be far more difficult than one might expect.

Also, I need to look into getting my anxiety under control. This is most likely going to require some sort of medication. Weaning Ashley is the next huge milestone. I expect it to be 1000 percent more difficult than weaning Travis was for me.

Also, continuing to focus on minimizing the stress, anger, impatience that goes along with the anxiety issues...

I am hoping the improved nutrition, beginning an exercise program, and insisting on taking the needed time out for myself will help out greatly.

Taking it day by day... Baby steps... And hoping to do better, be better, feel better.